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Fussy Eaters: Part 2
Posted by Graeme Lyons , Sunday, 19 August 2018 21:50
Many moons ago all the shieldbugs and squash bugs were eating any old thing and squabbling over who ate what. The oldest and wisest of all the bugs, Doc Squash, called a meeting and all the bugs mustered around the big table in the juice bar.
"This incessant fighting over what to eat must stop!" exclaimed Doc. "I propose we divide up the plants evenly between the bugs so that everyone can have their fair share. Now, I have decided to specialise in Rrrrrrumex. A delightfully abundant plant which means my offspring will never grow hungry. I might even have the odd bit of Rrrrrrhubarb for afters. Now some of you might want to generalise or pick a habitat to focus on. Or you might wish to specialise, like me, on a particularly common family or plant. So, with all that in mind, starting with you Dom the Downs Shieldbug, what do you think is a sensible thing for you to eat? Choose wisely mind"...
"I is like gonna eat this Bastard-toadflax juice ain't I?" announced Dom.
"Pardon me?"
"I said BASTARD-toadflax bruv."
"Why on Earth would you chose that? You know it's really scarce don't you?" asked Doc Squash.
"Yeah but it's got a SICK name innit? It's got a curse word in it!".
"You know it only grows on chalk-grassland, you don't even like chalk-grassland do you Dom?" stated Squash.
"I don't even know what that is. Can you smoke it?".
"Oh dear, and you know it's really, really small? Why not pick one of the commoner plants, or families? Or something with some actual foliage?
"I like this stuff dude, I don't like anything else. Now I'm trying to do a selfie of me eating some Bastard-toadflax, do you mind?"
"Well, don't come running to me when you're sick of that stuff next week. Now, who's next? Spike, you've always been a pretty straight down the line guy, what are you going to specialise in?..."
You'll have to wait until next time for the next installment of Fussy Eaters...
"Pardon me?"
"I said BASTARD-toadflax bruv."
"Why on Earth would you chose that? You know it's really scarce don't you?" asked Doc Squash.
"Yeah but it's got a SICK name innit? It's got a curse word in it!".
"You know it only grows on chalk-grassland, you don't even like chalk-grassland do you Dom?" stated Squash.
"I don't even know what that is. Can you smoke it?".
"Oh dear, and you know it's really, really small? Why not pick one of the commoner plants, or families? Or something with some actual foliage?
"I like this stuff dude, I don't like anything else. Now I'm trying to do a selfie of me eating some Bastard-toadflax, do you mind?"
"Well, don't come running to me when you're sick of that stuff next week. Now, who's next? Spike, you've always been a pretty straight down the line guy, what are you going to specialise in?..."
You'll have to wait until next time for the next installment of Fussy Eaters...
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Hi Graeme - your artwork is very special and I love the story attached to it as well ... very clever - cheers Hilary